Goblin Art Gallery Opens

Townsfolk from all over Hamsterdam Hill flocked to Main St. for the opening of the first Goblin Art Gallery. The gallery was bought by a small cadre of goblins several years ago, reportedly using ancient, cursed coins that they had found deep in the caves of East Ham Hill, where they and much of the goblin population resides.

“I thought it was strange when the chest of coins opened in the middle of the night, and started screaming,” said former owner of the gallery Bo Bob, 56. “But hey, Goblins’ money is as good as any. And I just closed that chest and everything has been fine since. Occasionally I find tiny ghosts in my cereal, but that’s about it.”

Residents flocked to the gallery to see the unusual artwork, all done by local artisan goblins.

“I like this one because it looks so much like a hand. It’s uncanny,” observed local student Roger Yips, 17, pointing to an extremely lifelike sculpture of a human hand. The hand then beckoned the young man closer with one finger, causing several onlookers to simultaneously vomit.

“I’ve just never seen so much art that I felt was actually evil. Everything in here feels like it has a soul, but in a malevolent way, you know?” remarked local tile smoother Ed Zed, 45, as he took in a peculiar work that was just a bunch of teeth hovering in the air, held aloft by some mysterious force.

The goblins have been a welcome presence in the town ever since they emerged from the Great Gold Caves around a decade ago, as they help control the Demon Goat population, which had reached unsustainable levels in recent times.