Local Puddle Expert Dead After Heavy Rainfall

International Star Puddle Master Fromlom Digireedoo, 34, perished late Wednesday evening after a particularly heavy rain. Eyewitnesses report seeing Digireedoo admiring an impressive group of puddles on Death Point shortly before he was reported missing. Death Point is a popular puddle location also known for its extremely slippery surface and cliff which overlooks a small bay filled with countless jagged, pointy rocks.

Digireedoo’s death was not a shock to those who knew him well.

“If that boy loved one thing, it sure was travelin’ up to that slippery rock. He especially liked to grease his shoes before he left. Said it helped with the “puddlin” as he called it.” observed neighbor and local prawn fiddler Tom Lamlock, 45. “He especially liked to do his puddlin’ when it was a' stormin’, as well. Said he needed electricity to really feel jazzed up about the whole affair.”

Digireedoo was a controversial figure, mostly known for founding the “Pokey Puddle Pioneers”, a strange ritual in which Digereedoo would lead local schoolchildren to prominent puddles at an almost impossibly slow pace. Confused onlookers and concerned parents who witnessed the procession often failed to discern whether the group was moving at all.

“I think I saw his foot move! Or maybe not. I can’t really tell. Well, at least this isn’t costing me anything.” noted local mother and drum shaker Polly Escherman, 27, after observing a session her child participated in.

Others, including the children, delighted in Digereedoo’s odd processions. “I liked Mr. Fromlom. He always took me out to fun, wet places. My parents would only take me and my sister to dry places, which are boring.” remarked Donnie Liverstain, 7, of East Ham Hill.

Per Digireedoo’s will, the service will be held at Death Point, and mourners will be politely asked to walk carefully and silently around any puddles they encounter.