Mayor Harrington Erects 72 ft Statue of Himself in Town Square

Mayor Henry Harrington unveiled a 72-foot statue of himself in Hamsterdam Hill's Town Square early Saturday evening, to raucous celebration. "I didn't see why we needed sewers anyhow!" screamed local cattle sniffer Janet Jackson, 47, referring to the recent town budget cuts needed to finance the massive statue. "Besides, you can certainly do your business right there on the statue. In fact, it's encouraged."

Some say the statue is not an entirely accurate representation of Mayor Harrington. "I must say I don't remember him being quite that buff." resident Larry Doorknob, 64, remarked. "Also I can't recall the last time I saw the mayor riding a unicorn while spinning the earth like a basketball on his left pinky finger."

Mayor Harrington staunchly defended his statue to reporters shortly following the unveiling. "I did not tell the statue designer to put a laser gun in my hand and have it pointing at screaming packs of fleeing residents. I expressly told him it must be a plasma gun. I cannot be held responsible for an artist's interpretation."

Mayor Harrington's last two giant statues of himself have been demolished by Hamsterdam Hill residents in a matter of hours. "All I can hope is that this statue lasts a few more hours than the last one." the Mayor noted, wistfully, as residents began to scale the statue, chisels in hand. "I just want to keep a piece this time. It doesn't have to be even an especially large piece." The statue is expected to be melted down and turned into dog jewelry, matching the fate of the Mayor's earlier efforts.