Large Walrus Appears

A Large Walrus has appeared on the outskirts of Hamsterdam Hill, various sources reported this Sunday. The Walrus, far larger than any previously seen, is being regarded as a scientific phenomenon of historical proportions. "It appeared out of nowhere" Sammy Hill, 34, of West Hamsterdam commented in the early Sunday morning outside her home/tent, "It magically appeared in the sky 'bout 30 feet up with a terrific, screaming sound. When it landed it crushed my house. It's just been kinda lying there since". The walrus, appearing unfazed by its bewildering manifestation in thin air, has at various stages blinked, breathed, and made some sort of barking noise. "I like him." Sammy Hill continued, "He's the first real family I've had. I keep him moist. He seems to enjoy that a whole lot." Sammy indeed has for the past 72 hours been ferrying small glasses of water from a nearby well. "You have to do it in tiny glasses each time. It doesn't work with a bucket. And see there you just throw it up his nose." The massive animal has not responded well to the repeated assaults of water up the nose, and authorities have been searching for local resident Sammy Hill for hours, combing the countryside following her trail of tiny water glasses. 

The walrus, over 15 feet tall at the shoulder, is an estimated 40 feet long and would be the largest recorded land animal in existence. Plans to relocate it to it's (supposed) natural environment have been scuppered due to the animal's impossible size. Moving the animal has also proved difficult due to a crowd of semi-religious folk that has gathered around the Walrus, treating the poor creature as a god. The group, known collectively only as "We Walrus", has erected strange ceremonial structures made largely of garbage taken from a nearby landfill. They have been chanting "We Walrus! We Walrus!" deep into the night, angering other residents, and from all indications, the creature as well. 

NEWS FLASH UPDATE: The garbage-altars around the beloved animal have taken on a dangerous amount of flies and assorted molds, so much so that the flies are more or less running the show at this point.