How To: Change a Tire by Mark Volinski

You'll need: 

1. A jar
2. A handle
3. Too many spoons

Let's get this started, shall'nt we?

1. Immerse yourself in the tales of Charles Dickens. 
2. Become convinced that you are Charles Dickens. 
3. Purchase some new clothes. You think Charles Dickens would be caught dead in those rags?
4. Remark to passing locals, "A haypenny for a story? I'll spin you any tale you desire!"
5. Do this for several years, until you are famous. 
6. You will become a highly desirable mate, attracting everyone across the land. 
7. Impress this fact upon anyone you meet, demanding their admiration. 
8. "Bow to me! Yes, you there! Bow! I am Sir Charles Dickens, aren't I?" 
9. When they respond in the negative, make sure they know how wrong they are. 
10. Don't worry if things get violent. After all who are they going to arrest, Charles Dickens?
11. As long as there are other people dressed as Charles Dickens that day, you will be just fine.