How To: Grow Wings With Art Ester
It's nice to have wings, much easier than walking - legs, which require more upkeep (as I'm sure you know!) Follow these easy steps and you'll be flying high in no time! Here's what you'll need:
- Lack of Self Respect
- A dozen eggs
OK! Let's get going then, eh? Less walk, more talk, am I right?
- Close your eyes and reach out your arms. Then open and close your fingers. At some point, no matter what, you will likely snatch some wings (though I can't guarantee, by any means, you will come across wings this way).
- In your closed eye wing-seeking journey, you may perish.
- If you perish before finding wings, CONGRATS! you now do not even need wings.
- If you DO find some, strap them to your back using some twine or ligaments.
- You can't find ligaments nearby? Really? Thought those would be easy to come by. Try the closed-eye, wild grabbing method again. That might do the trick.
- .........Is anyone alive still? I really thought steps 1-5 would have killed most of you off. Well, if by some miracle you're still alive, I would just head on home. You've had quite a day.