Hamsterdam Hill

"Charming, in a deadly sort of way"

The city of the hill welcomes you home. Hamsterdam Hill, founded in 2014. 

How To: Grow Wings With Art Ester

It's nice to have wings, much easier than walking - legs, which require more upkeep (as I'm sure you know!) Follow these easy steps and you'll be flying high in no time! Here's what you'll need:

  1. Lack of Self Respect
  2. A dozen eggs

OK! Let's get going then, eh? Less walk, more talk, am I right?

  1. Close your eyes and reach out your arms. Then open and close your fingers. At some point, no matter what, you will likely snatch some wings (though I can't guarantee, by any means,  you will come across wings this way). 
  2. In your closed eye wing-seeking journey, you may perish. 
  3. If you perish before finding wings, CONGRATS! you now do not even need wings. 
  4. If you DO find some, strap them to your back using some twine or ligaments.
  5. You can't find ligaments nearby? Really? Thought those would be easy to come by. Try the closed-eye, wild grabbing method again. That might do the trick. 
  6. .........Is anyone alive still? I really thought steps 1-5 would have killed most of you off. Well, if by some miracle you're still alive, I would just head on home. You've had quite a day.