Hoagie Shop Employee says 4th Dimension "Actually Pretty Blah"

Local beet tester Grad Korbak, 34, claims he has successfully traveled to the 4th dimension and back several times, and that it is “nothing to write home about.”

“Listen, you have your pretty garden-variety twelve foot mushrooms, your sentient, flying tacos, but beyond that, it’s really not that interesting,” said Korbak, while holding what looked like a cat that was constantly changing colors. “Oh this? this is a hyperdimensional being that I sometimes hang out with. It’s a cat.” The cat looked up disapprovingly at Korbak before speaking, in perfect English.

“I’ve told you, I am not a cat. I merely inhabit one so your puny brain does not immediately explode upon witnessing me. I’ll have that hoagie now,” said the cat, before transforming instantly into a human form, and sitting at a table, tapping its fingers expectantly.

Korbak, an employee at Brad’s Hoagies and Hardware, stumbled upon the 4th dimension one day while cleaning the stockroom.

“I was moving the circular saws out of the way so i could really get in there, clean it good, and what do you know there’s a hole in the floor. But this hole was different, it was shimmery. So i threw a can of paint in it and whattaya know it disappeared! So I said ‘Grad, you jump in that hole’. And I did.”

Korbak has reportedly tired of interdimensional travel, after only a few short trips.

“The last couple of times have been okay I guess. If you close your eyes while standing at the peak of the Time Mountain and look to the horizon, you can see the whole past, present, and future of the planet, all happening simultaneously. But after you’ve seen it once, you’ve kind of seen it, you know? Like Goodfellas. Not as good the second time.”