Local Children Form Dessert Coalition

"Broccolli, you destroyer of meals, you ruiner of plates, let you never step foot in our fine town again!" shrieked Elwin Robart, 8, of Central Hamsterdam Hill, at the Dessert Coalition's inaugural meeting, which took place for approximately four minutes after Mrs. Talbot's fourth grade math class on Tuesday. 

The Dessert Coalition, which I have been assured was "definitely not that stupidpants James' idea", has been gaining steam in recent weeks as Robart has rallied dozens of like-minded individuals to his cause, often with promises of free snacks and vague suggestions of "Better Desserts For All." 

The organization is centered around the basic idea that "Parents are a bunch of stinky brains, and I want cookies!", as explained by the Coalitions' treasurer, Sandy Bean, 7. "Just because I'm not 8 until next month doesn't mean I can't be treasurer. I already know all the numbers, even a-hundred."

Robart claims he has been planning his coalition ever since one particularly depressing evening in which his father insisted on serving him spinach for dinner, even in the face of vigorous protestations from Robart that "Daddy get that yucky stuff away! It looks like seaweed, gross!"