Band of Jugglers Terrorize Town

At 6:47 PM local time residents reported that a large band of jugglers entered town and promptly began terrorizing it. 

"They spin their demon balls in the air with no apparent regard for our children!" local flap cleaner Ham Sandwich, 67, remarked on the traveling entertainers. "My child looked at those balls for seconds before I could smack them out of their heathen hands! The damage has surely been done, I can see it in their little eyes. Satan's fire has taken hold." 

The jugglers, who were later identified as the Bradsbury Juggler Trio, had gotten a flat tire and were forced to wander into town seeking help. "We didn't want to stop." lead Juggler Marvin Labor, 29, remarked on the incident. "We knew from the 'Demon Jugglers Be Dead' and "Ham Hill 20, Jugglers 0" signs we saw as we drove in that we were best to avoid it, but we had no choice." 

While the cause of the flat remains unknown, suspicion has fallen on local rat tamer Tom Nordson, 86, of North Hamsterdam, who owns a house near the road where the jugglers entered town. "You show me a juggler, I'll show you a man you can't trust. You know how they keep them balls afloat? It's Dark Magic, of the Darkest Kind. That's why I been puttin' an end to their festivites." Nordson has caused havoc for local authorities by shooting at, and occasionally hitting, anyone he believes to be a juggler. "And I would have killed more of 'em too, if it wasn't for these two glass eyes, you see." When asked how he can identify jugglers with two glass eyes, this reporter was promptly labeled "a deranged juggler harlot", and chased from the premises with an antique bolt-action rifle. 

While the jugglers have been offered places to stay at the local Ham Hill Inn, they have kept to sleeping outside to avoid sometimes exorbitant "juggler" pricing. "You, Mr. Reporter, $10 for the night." local Innkeeper Sally Jingo, 56, quoted for a night at her inn. "The jugglers? I offered them a room. For $400." She remarked, cackling, as she gestured towards a bathroom the size of a broom closet.

In other news, a raving band of murderers has swept through town in the past 12 hours. Little notice has been taken of them.