Cheese Riots Continue Unabated

The Cheese Riots have entered their third week with no signs of slowing down. The violence, which started as a simple fistfight over a very good piece of Gruyere, has devolved into the second largest cheese riot in the history of Hamsterdam Hill. The run on cheese has been attributed to the shuttering of Mr. Cotter's farm after his star chicken spontaneously became intelligent and skipped town. Mr. Cotter's was one of only two cheese producing farms that sell cheese in Hamsterdam Hill, mostly due to the total lack of infrastructure leading in and out of the town;  and Mr. Cotter's cheese was not even technically sold. Only those with the gumption to trek to his farm, avoid his many homemade chicken traps, then answer his "Riddle of the Day', were lucky enough to be offered his cheese. With only Rosie Barnes' Farm currently selling, people have taken to the streets to express their concern. 

"How the fuck am I supposed to make nachos?" shrieked Dana Adams, 23, as she drove a baseball bat into the side of a middle aged woman. The scenes, while nightmarish, did have the added effect of driving the town's dogs to dance, synchronized, all at once in the center of town. Derided by some townfolk as one-upsmanship, Emma James, 37, had a different view, saying "I think they are mad about the cheese, same as us. They just have a different way of saying it." This reporter just likes seeing dogs dance, no matter the reason.