Police Pelted with Saliva Bags

Local Bat Wrangler and Cheese Squeezer Art Painting was arrested early Sunday morning in West Hamsterdam Hill following a prolonged assault of police with Ziploc bags of his own saliva. Painting, 42, mounted the offensive off his second story roof. "Get your saliva here! Only High Quality Liquid Saliva. Not like Salvatore's Solid Saliva across town!" Painting's howls continued throughout the night without cease. "Drink my mouth - juice! We can all live with Jesus in the clouds!" As of press time the existence of Salvatore's Solid Saliva has not been confirmed. 

Police were not surprised as this was Painting's third such attack that morning, but were thwarted from intervening in the first two as he was not yet naked. Hurling saliva BY ITSELF is not a crime in Hamsterdam Hill, due to a small hole in the tax code.