"Demon's Day" Celebrations Enter Second Week
As the town’s celebrations of “Demon’s Day” continue unabated into their second week, some locals are wondering when they can get back to their normal lives. “I mean, I love Demon’s Day, but I am simply pooped. I had to eat confetti this morning, on account of all the businesses bein’ closed. And it was not as nutritious as its colors suggest it to be,” observed reveler and local frog guide Zane Rodrigo, 21, of East Hamsterdam Hill.
While not proveable, it is widely suspected that Mayor Harrington started the weekslong holiday in the dead of winter to avoid going to work in the cold. “I mean I can’t be expected to govern while my teeth are chattering! Why even as I speak to you now, I can barely move without being draped in cats for warmth!” yelled the Mayor at a recent presser, at which he was surrounded by roughly a dozen cats. “You people can’t even fathom how much Tuna Lather I had to bathe in to get these cats to stay around me 24/7. It’s a full time job!” After being reminded by various gathered townsfolk that being the mayor is actually his full time job, he left from the podium in a huff, with several cats trailing in his terrible-smelling wake.
Demon’s Day celebrations usually consist of running away from “The Demon”, while drinking heavily. The Demon, known to most as local shop owner Bob Jerbab, 44, of Bob’s Hardware & Oysters, prepares for the role by being locked in a stinking cage for two months while refusing to be fed anything other than raw meat. After he is sufficiently disgusting and enraged, he is released every February 2nd to terrorize his fellow townspeople at an festive event in the town square.
“I like how he really bites you. He’s not mailing this thing in,” remarked satisfied festivalgoer Rachel Ronald, 34. “My leg is bleeding heavily. It’s quite the thrill.”
Much of the town shuts down each year during the festival, which can stretch anywhere from one day to around three weeks. It only ends when Jerbab’s mania subsides and, exhausted, he collapses.
However odd it may seem to others, Jerbab relishes his role. “I mean, it sure spices up your year, I’ll tell you that much,” Jerbab stated in a recent interview. “I also get as much free meat as I want! And I get studied, for science.”