Police Blotter

Mr. Snuggles Birthday Bash Violence

Mr. Snuggles the Cat's birthday party last night attracted four partygoers, 3 vagrants and 2 people so high they’re not sure where they are, and later a man singing so uncontrollably a fire unit had to be dispatched to smother him in order to cease his cantor. As of press time Mr. Snuggles considered the party "his greatest moment" and thanked the vagrants for "using the litter box, at least most of the time".